I Love The Rain

I love the rain
Made tentative steps outside today
After days of self-caging
I’m just like a jack-in-the-box
Rarely popping out
But when I do
Everyone laughs at me
So it seems, in the recesses
Of my injured thoughts
Which bleed colourless waste;
Reject all attempts at progression.

I love the rain
Enjoyed it kissing my weary face
After hours of self-hating
I’m just like the jigsaw puzzle
From a charity shop
Five pieces missing
Others torn and faded
Incomplete, shoved in a corner
Forgotten for years
Welcoming infection
They like to label it depression.

I love the rain
Because today it comforted me
Liquid splashes of nature
I was just like a jail breaker
Liberated prisoner
Free as the water
Which awoke my senses
Five pieces again discovered;
Scent of beauty
Touch of angels, taste of
Passion, sight and sound of earth’s devotion.

That’s why I love the rain
It reminded me who I am
One with all creation
Love without hesitation
This world is so cruel, yet
There is so much blessing

I love the rain

I Pay As I Go

Some set up a monthly plan
To keep their feelings in order
Bonus: guilt-free minutes
With built-in predictive desire
They have no regrets

Me,
I pay as I go.

I Am

I will start my life all over again
I am stronger, not weaker
I see the purest gold within me
And I will grow with every watering
From my teacher
Which is ultimately me
I love myself
I love others too, yet to love me
Is no less than anyone
I am strong and I am kind
I care not what I left behind
Because I have seen the light

Childhood is a strange and wonderful thing
Over too soon, yet still it lingers
I embrace it with open arms and dirty fingers
My childhood
Lost like a forgotten dream
Yet now I will have it return to me
Because it should never leave

I am happy and I am free
I am everything I want to be, in heart and in speech
Nothing can quite ever reach
The depths
Of enthusiasm unbound or joy without borders
I am the one who understands
I can taste the promised land
Within me

I will jump for joy on my special day
I can run a thousand miles if you just say
The word
The word of my God
Who comes to me when I need it, my angel
Protecting, nurturing me when I am desperate
And I cannot seperate
Me from my destiny
I don’t know what it is but I will see in time

I am lonely yet I am loved
I have scents from heaven above
I call out when moonlight fades
I will live life in my own way
I am alright
I am free

Ice

A crystal nest you weave, use it like a ladder
Climbing each bitter rung to your frosty retreat
The sharp chill in your voice, I start to wonder
This pale slope made slippery with your advice

Ice

You creep, in diamond-dipped shades of overshadow
A cold moon bulb is your only guiding light
My frozen tears like stalactites, stinging my face
Now you’re ten below zero but I’ll pay the price

Ice

You build a tunnel of snow, where alone you can enter
As this winter blizzard leaves me blind in the storm
So tempest protection shrouds you in her glacial arms
You abandon me, to make your first raw sacrifice

Ice

Ides Of March

A dark Roman day
A Liberators tune
They dance a quick step
To a black mission doom
In three days he’ll leave
They’ll move fast to achieve
Caesar in pools of maroon

March the fifteenth
Unlucky for some
And I hide away
From the murderous sun
In three days they’ll say
Why’d she end it this way?
And find me in puddles of blood

Enough of the hurt
Enough of this life
My skin will be blessed
With the edge of this knife
In three days I’ll die
As the red moon arrives
One slash of the blade will suffice

Illusionist

Your eyes hide secrets darker than
The midnight sky without its stars
Your smile deceives the shrewdest man
You’re from Saturn, they’re from Mars
Your hair is like the devil’s flame
That twists and turns with wicked glee
Your hand’s touch is a subtle game
You’ve played before, but not with me
Your face lies like a broken watch
That tells us things we can’t believe
Your throat demands the finest Scotch
To quench your need for honesty
Your thoughts are studied like a book
Each chapter brings a new delight
Your words invite a second look
When it’s morning, you say goodnight
Your blood spreads magic in your veins
A waiting crowd expects to see
You’re terrifying but remain
A wonder and a mystery.

Images of Summer

A time of roller-skates and baseball bats
Who come outside to play but once a year;
Tepid milky lotion and wide-brimmed hats
Dominate the landscape when sun appears

While barbecues spit a scent of charred flesh
Sizzling and smoky like an engine on heat;
And strawberry ice-cream tries to refresh
The tongues of young girls who just want to eat

Warbling birds make their way to the river
To paddle and splash, drinking nature’s brew;
Heat waves set the horizon aquiver
With silhouette Frisbees gliding into view

Snotty-nosed children head straight for the beach
While sultry mothers seek out parasols;
Meanwhile the fathers are eager to teach
Their offspring to build the best sandcastles

Blossoming sweethearts rock boats on the lake
As eager sport-lovers capsize a canoe;
Mischievous wasps buzz around a milkshake
Like teenagers fight for the water-slide queue

Tired old donkeys must bear screaming kids
Who climb up and down in a clammy parade
Licking ice-lolly from their fingertips
They smear sticky hands on bright plastic spades

Paddling pool noises from gardens arise
Excitable boys shoot water from guns
Spraying their neighbour who’d just closed his eyes
For an afternoon nap in the blistering sun.

Impact

She came to my door at quarter past four
And I wondered what would be
I was told that absence was unacceptable
And I would be punished accordingly
(Though not in those words I agree)

And ever since then I have thought long and hard
And pondered about the puzzle of life
I was aware that I was deteriorating
But I didn’t realise how badly it
(Could affect everything that I see)

But in a strange way it has brought me new light
In some form it has rejuvinated me
Now i feel stronger than how I felt then
And I’m ready to face what is coming to me
(It could be the best thing that happens to me)

All things have a reason in this life
And I believe everything serves a purpose for me
And although it feels wrong now I understand
It is a new chapter, a new chance in my future
(Life isn’t always the way that we see)

I try to look at the blank space before me
As an opportunity of chance waiting for me
An empty window longing to be filled with
The substance of reality that is only the truth forever
(Look at life from another point of view)

No-0ne can tell you what is right
Only in rare moments you realise it yourself
But it comes, and it is so real in your soul – don’t you agree?
Just a small glimpse of a different reality
(Everything is five dimensional, not less)

You know you
Don’t let it go
Forget the prejudice and pressure
And just let it go
(A contradiction of sorts but the best kind there is)
Do you empathise?
I know you do
Nothing is simple in this life
But that is what makes it the blood of you
Cherish it forever
Never release…

do
Nothing is simple in this life

Inspired Thoughts

I want to scrub stains of comparison
Polish dusty thoughts, clear space for centre

We can only be inferior to that we judge superior.
Maybe we fly with less skill than some
Yet others strive to reach our height.

Therefore help us not to play the double role
Of both the judge and the defendant
Or, if we do, help us to understand
It is we who started the trial, born of opinion
With flimsy roots held fast by contrast.

I don’t want to run the race of good and bad
But be still in the beautiful arms of my ability
And accept: things are what they are.

It’s only us who fix the labels to our lives
Each of us is unique, yet we all connect as
One.

Some try to clear the muddy water
With purifier or chemical drops
Or filtering or asking God
I say: let the muddy water be
Being left alone, it will clear naturally.

Our inner calm, once found and cherished
Even in the midst of a chaotic day
Removes the constant craving for renewal
Guides back along rocky path to beating heart.

Stretching too far, too soon
Makes us lose our balance;
Our strong connection with the ground
And the healing touch of rain-kissed soil.

Iraq

Why have you waited this long to suddenly
Decide that Iraq is no good to you
You have known this for many years, the oppression
And the tyrany of that government
Yet nothing was done before when it was no use

Mm.. maybe it’s to do with oil, could that
Be a deciding factor? I have my suspicions
You take the initiative when it suits you, the inconvenience
Or is it just finishing what your father started
Cause so much was done then, better not leave it

We don’t trust you, Bush
You don’t even know how to speak English properly
Your spin doctors write your statements for you
Do you have your own opinion… of course you do
Keep it in the family, don’t let daddy down
Never mind innocent lives – it won’t affect you

In your white palace
You’re above us all
The most powerful man in the whole wide world
You have it all
But we don’t agree with you

Bombing Iraq is a bad idea
Who will you target? Saddam or the millions
Of innocent people who don’t know any different
Well I think we know the answer to that one
Where are your priorities
Please don’t go against all UN decision
Show some sort of human compassion
Or make a joke of our whole democracy
Listen to the people of the world
Just try it, it might work
Don’t bomb Iraq – millions say

But I guess you’ll do your own thing anyway
ease don’t go against all UN decision

Isis, My Eternity

The great lady
Female Ra
Queen of all Gods
Maker of the sunrise
Light-giver of heaven
Magic lover of starry gaze

Blood droplets
Powerful words
Protect and guard
Sirius wept, causing the
Nile to flow over and
Golden coins to rain down

Greatest Osiris
Sleeping in stars
Provider of all life
Take her hand in yours
Kiss the soft skin of Ankhet
Fall to her Underworld bliss

I implore you, oh Isis
To lay down your sword
Strike not the dust which is
Scratching at your divine eyes
Breathe in a temple of miracle joy
Let it swirl about your face in sighs

Can I bow to you, Isis who blesses my life?
Should I pray to you, Isis when sun steals the sky?
Where are my answers, within you they lie!
Isis my goddess, love me – let me die!
Grant me the cobra
Grant me this one last wish
Guide the tainted fangs
Into me, unto me, poison me
Let me gaze upon your loving face
For eternity

I Wish

I wish
I wish I’d never seen your smile
Brighten up my day
I wish I’d never wanted you
In every single way
That there is to want somebody

I wish I didn’t know your name
Or how you make me feel
I wish I never saw your eyes
The passion hidden real
Inside those depths of time

I wish I never shook your hand
And introduced myself
I wish I hadn’t saw your face
When I dressed up myself
In that perfect day

Because I saw your eyes
And I knew
Something would happen between me and you
I knew I loved you
Right from the start
But how can I explain
This beating heart
When I am
What I am
And we do not belong together
Yet I feel it, you feel it
And we know it

What can I say but:
Give me guidance God
For I know not what I do
All I know is that I love him
Maybe more than I love you
It is strong so help me now
Assist me in my darker hours
Please do it
Please prove to me
That I am not insane
But only an idealist who’s not to blame.

I write

I write what comes out of me
Not anything pre-determined or planned
Just the issues that my heart and soul believe
And maybe I’ll be frowned upon for that
But who cares?
We all have a heart and we all have one belief
It may be jumbled up inbetween
But at the end of the day we know
And we will show it, possibly, in the future
Or if we don’t, maybe we still try to do our best
And we are good and human people after all
I don’t know what to do
I will admit to you
I am caught inside an ever-growing web
And I feel trapped yet liberated instead
Strange isn’t it
But that is me
You will see me and believe

January Challenge

My secret place
is in eternal sunset
where soft warm breeze
teases with my hair
under a wildfire sky;
a heavenly feast of
salmon and tangerine
washed down with
a ruby claret.
A river is sparkling
like sequins on
a flowing gown
that catch the falling
tears of the sun
and silhouetted arches
call out to everyone.

Incense and spice,
exotic to my senses
and

the water
gently lapped by
the spirit of the cat
drinking his wisdom,
crickets and other
creatures of the moon
noisily chattering
singing, celebrating
and for once
I don’t have to
be anywhere soon,
and

the trees are speaking secrets
I’ve waited all my life to hear

January

January holds us in his frosty palm, a resolute grip:
as we, entangled in post-Christmas loops,
trudge back to neon-choked offices.
The once-sweet bread of new gifts, already stale,
left to gather mould in a corner,
while the tick-tocking clock of urgency
awakens us to a stinging reality.

January refuses to set me free, the stubborn fool:
so I, bruised from society’s binds,
seek some alternative medication.
The holly-bearing windows, already tired,
reflect the burden on my shoulders,
while the ring-ringing phone of employee
summons me to a waiting cacophony.

January is determined to bite, with melancholy jaws:
but I, I say bring on defiance,
let’s throw the misery from his throne.
Wear rainbow-kissed mittens, warm fluffy boots,
skip to work laughing at the grey sky,
know that the twinkle in spring’s patient eye
will become brighter with each day that passes.

January’s mood has much potential, if we assist:
yes we, with a change of perspective,
can wrench him from his oppressive gloom.
Speak to him of beauty, snowflake kisses,
cradle this child, this newly born year,
when it rains, he showers you with affection
January loves if only we’ll let him.

Jesus Poem

I loved you Jesus

When I was a child, God winked at me
I will not walk your clobber passage or kiss your stained glass ceiling
And Sunday’s a cannonball in my head
Things are easier with the Godbox
Try to avoid those Godcasting spells
Mountains of Jesus junk
Come-to-Jesus meeting
You’ve been popular this Jesus year
Your gigachurches scare me
I never wanted your kitchen-table church
Plant churches in school grounds
I am unchurched
Pews full of those who spray and pray
All I see now are Blackberry prayers
Make my own faithbook instead

Jesus

Did Jesus ever help me?
Did he, did he?
Did he touch my face when I was weak
Did he comfort my soul when I couldn’t speak?
Did he?
Did he hold me close when I was all alone
Did he give me peace when I was far from home?
Did he?
Did he stroke my hair when I felt like dying
Did he catch my tears as I was crying?
Did he?

Jesus, I want to call you a fraud
Without giving offence
Without touching a nerve
For I don’t want to hurt you
But what do you, what do I deserve?
I thought you’d always be there
Till I opened my eyes
And saw you as fiction
So the darkening skies
Give me no more comfort
But belief in myself
And where does that take me
When there is nothing else?
Is it too late to save me
When I gave up your light
You were everything simple
When I closed my eyes
At night

Did Jesus ever help me?
Did he, did he?
Now I’m walking the sinful line
I think you were fabricated
For this wretched heart of mine
Lost faith, lost hope
Yes I lost the sublime
But it woke me up
To this lonely heart of mine

Journey

I made it through the night
Surprising, I know
Like a faulty racing car
I tried to avoid the gaps in the road
Of my soul, but failed before
Now tonight, I have conquered
I have shown
The inner strength I knew I always had
But was blinded by the thickest fog
Now it’s cleared
My vision is brighter
My heart is lighter
Give me the persistence
To continue
Being a fighter

I’ll stand tall and proud
Defend myself against the blockades
Drive cautiously
Yet efficiently
To my starry destination
To my final escape

I smile at the welcoming light
I laugh with thanks
When you praise me
But those other opinions don’t matter
I’ve found my soul
Finally I’m whole