You Think You Know Me

You think you know me
You sigh when I’m ten minutes late again
It’s so unprofessional
“Well we all get up on the wrong side of bed
Occasionally
Look, she hasn’t brushed her hair again”

You think you know me
You talk about me when I go downstairs
Watch on the monitor
“Well why doesn’t she make him sit down
Clearly it’s better
Listen, she talks too many words of care”

You think you know me
You can’t believe after so much support
I’m still not any better
“Well yes, at first I was sympathetic
But that has run out
Smell those cigarettes she went and bought”

You think you know me
Maybe you think I’m lazy when I’m absent
Saying to yourself
“Her phone call made me angry. We all feel
Unable to cope
Listen, why is she any different?”

You think you know me
You don’t see the effort involved when I
Force my feet to move
One step in front of the other and
Each one causes pain
It’s not physical but you don’t see me cry

You think you know me
As you wilfully misunderstand me
Would the reaction
Be any different if you knew how much
I’ve tried and suffered
To leave my past behind – set myself free

You think you know me
You pick out the faults and ignore the good
I’ve stayed late often
To finish a job I had no time to do
Your expectations
Of what shouldn’t be done and what should

You think you know me
You spend a day sitting in the hot seat
Saying it’s easy
Disregarding the mountain of paper
Stacked away in my drawer
All of the extras you don’t see or read

You think you know me
You have no idea how hurtful it is
I’m giving my best
I think I’ve achieved a lot for our team
For all our patients
But you exclude me with ignorant bliss

You think you know me
You blame me as I’m a target so weak
Always so pleasant
If only you’d tell me straight away
When I make a mistake
I could correct it – have my chance to speak

You think you know me
So you saved it all up – the errors, the thoughts
You spilled it all out
Not to me, but to the one who is higher
Stabbed in the back again
She’s not doing the job she was taught

You think you know me
But there’s no way you know me at all
Only what you see
On the surface, as abuse is hidden
So called caring profession
Watching and waiting for me to fall.

You

Some people say ‘nothing matters’
‘And who really cares anyway’
‘I don’t want to think about the suffering’
‘Tomorrow is just another day’

But I am the one who always wonders
And imagines a life so far away
I am the one who dreams a lot, that’s a fact
I always want the best we’ve got

And I must be strange to only need to love
I must be alien to the rest
‘Cause I only see the dream before me
And I never think of consequence

Forever in my heart is the music
The patterns against the fading sky
And I don’t ever want to lose it
Even if it’s just in my mind

Well I guess that love is just a story
And an outdated fairy tale
I suppose that there’s no real glory
And anything true is bound to fail

So I carry on in my reality
Trying so hard to forget what’s real
I never stop to think, or listen, that’s a fact
After all, what’s the point in that

But always in my heart there is laughter
And memories of a time I know
And I don’t ever want to lose it
I hope I never hear you say ‘no’

Because you make me high
You make me care
You make me want to dare
You make me laugh
You make me cry
You make me want to brush the sky
And I love you
I love you
I will always love you
Until the day I die.

Yule

At this time of Yuletide
Yule be with me
You’re the only cracker
I want under my tree

You’re so delicious
Better than mince pies
I always feel festive
When I look in your eyes

Of all the gifts I’ll receive
Yule be the best
And even with no angels
Truly I am blessed

‘Cause you are my fiancé
My life you’ve touched
At Christmas and always
I love you so much.

Speefie